Well, I've been slowly trying to re-connect with folks from South River with the idea that we might have a re-union in 3 years. It's hard to believe that 50 years will be coming up. One would think that by this time all the grudges, nastiness, backbiting, and other high school adolescent behavior would be a thing of the past. Being in psychiatry means that I subscribe to the idea that people develop, mature, and grow and that they are capable of change. Being a realist, I know that is not always the case.
I had an interesting experience with this social networking. Apparently someone from high school looked me up through the university, and sent me an email to my professional email address. I paste it here: "Hey aren't you the Wanda Troyanowski from SR with the crazy parents and big time problems? How's it hangin?" The email address gives no clue as to this cowardly person's identity and frankly I do not care who it is. Talk about someone with big time problems.
Yes, I am the Wanda nee Troyanowski from SR who had "crazy" parents. My mother was bipolar, my father drank and had a big time personality disorder and it was an abusive family. My brother was not the epitome of mental health and I had a pretty grim time of it. Friends were almost non existent because I didn't want to bring anyone home. Odds should have been that my life should have ended as bitterly as theirs -- or as obviously disturbed as my email friend "angelover" who sent me that snarky email.
But -- I got over it and got out of there and was successful beyond anyone's including my own expectations. Seems that some people simply don't have the capacity to turn it around. Angelover, you only wish that you were as blessed as I am. I hope you find some measure of peace with yourself.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
December 2009
Another year has passed and it dawned on us that it has been nearly 15 years since we moved back to the east coast. Time really does fly when you’re having fun!
This year has been busier than ever. We managed 6 different countries this year: Austria, Czech Republic, Denmark, Sweden, Italy, and Switzerland. The Czech Republic and Sweden were our favorites. Beautiful, clean, and well governed countries, great food and affable people. We decided that had we not had grandbabies and children here, we’d move to Sweden in a heartbeat.
Wanda was on sabbatical during which we traveled, and she presented nationally and internationally. She is working on a new book with Dr. Allan Tasman geared to medical students and psychiatric trainees, and is on the 8th edition of her own text. The sabbatical will be over with the start of the spring semester, but she won’t be back teaching for much longer as she has decided to retire and become Professor Emeritus in Spring of 2011. Yay! No more faculty meetings. More time with grandbabies. Double Yay!
Brian is doing his investment advisement and is thankful that we have lost no large amounts of money during this terrible downturn. Ever the optimist, he took the recession as a time of opportunity and bought opportunities like crazy. He is enjoying life, enjoying his home, which is a never ending money pit, is fighting with the Canada geese and the deer that have a penchant to be horribly dirty and destructive. He is looking forward to his 50th high school reunion in 2 years and has connected with several friends who he had lost touch with. He is healthy except for the usual aches and pains that we all have at this age. Aging surely is not for the faint hearted.
We have always lived busy and full lives, reading much, museum trolling, traveling, and squeezing in hobbies as well as good works on behalf of others. But, there is nothing to compare with the advent of all these grandbabies to make life complete. They are such a joy. Every new development is a wonder. With three toddlers of the same age, it has become very interesting, but has underscored the limits of our physical endurance. Just when we thought that we were in great shape for our age, a few days with Sophie, Jacqueline, or Alina, is enough to bring us back to reality and realize why the natural order of things is to have young people bear the babies.
It would come as a surprise to no one that Shannon and Tara are both fabulous mothers and we just can’t say enough about Jon and Mike. They were born to be dads and the baby girls are wild for their fathers.
Despite the nuisance of the Philadelphia political situation, graft, corruption, and patronage that we try to ignore, we love living here. It has to be the perfect geographical spot for people who love music, shows, and museums and within driving distance to Washington DC and New York should we run out of activities here. The only downside is not having Shannon, Jon and the twins closer.
We hope this letter finds all of you fit and happy. Here’s looking forward to another wonderful year! And I have decided to post my blogs on facebook. Hoping to reconnect with folks who neither of us have seen for a while.
Wanda and Brian
Another year has passed and it dawned on us that it has been nearly 15 years since we moved back to the east coast. Time really does fly when you’re having fun!
This year has been busier than ever. We managed 6 different countries this year: Austria, Czech Republic, Denmark, Sweden, Italy, and Switzerland. The Czech Republic and Sweden were our favorites. Beautiful, clean, and well governed countries, great food and affable people. We decided that had we not had grandbabies and children here, we’d move to Sweden in a heartbeat.
Wanda was on sabbatical during which we traveled, and she presented nationally and internationally. She is working on a new book with Dr. Allan Tasman geared to medical students and psychiatric trainees, and is on the 8th edition of her own text. The sabbatical will be over with the start of the spring semester, but she won’t be back teaching for much longer as she has decided to retire and become Professor Emeritus in Spring of 2011. Yay! No more faculty meetings. More time with grandbabies. Double Yay!
Brian is doing his investment advisement and is thankful that we have lost no large amounts of money during this terrible downturn. Ever the optimist, he took the recession as a time of opportunity and bought opportunities like crazy. He is enjoying life, enjoying his home, which is a never ending money pit, is fighting with the Canada geese and the deer that have a penchant to be horribly dirty and destructive. He is looking forward to his 50th high school reunion in 2 years and has connected with several friends who he had lost touch with. He is healthy except for the usual aches and pains that we all have at this age. Aging surely is not for the faint hearted.
We have always lived busy and full lives, reading much, museum trolling, traveling, and squeezing in hobbies as well as good works on behalf of others. But, there is nothing to compare with the advent of all these grandbabies to make life complete. They are such a joy. Every new development is a wonder. With three toddlers of the same age, it has become very interesting, but has underscored the limits of our physical endurance. Just when we thought that we were in great shape for our age, a few days with Sophie, Jacqueline, or Alina, is enough to bring us back to reality and realize why the natural order of things is to have young people bear the babies.
It would come as a surprise to no one that Shannon and Tara are both fabulous mothers and we just can’t say enough about Jon and Mike. They were born to be dads and the baby girls are wild for their fathers.
Despite the nuisance of the Philadelphia political situation, graft, corruption, and patronage that we try to ignore, we love living here. It has to be the perfect geographical spot for people who love music, shows, and museums and within driving distance to Washington DC and New York should we run out of activities here. The only downside is not having Shannon, Jon and the twins closer.
We hope this letter finds all of you fit and happy. Here’s looking forward to another wonderful year! And I have decided to post my blogs on facebook. Hoping to reconnect with folks who neither of us have seen for a while.
Wanda and Brian
Sunday, April 12, 2009
The dangerous right
Propaganda. To hear the defamers of conservativism yammer about it, propaganda is what other people – especially socialists do. Never mind that these same pseudo conservatives manage to conflate totalitarianism, socialism, and communism (oh, I forgot liberalism) into the same boogey man. But what would domestic propaganda look and sound like in America? My two three votes go to the dangerous drivel spouted by the pseudo-patriots Sean Hannity, O'Reilly and Rush Limbaugh. These multimillionaires excel at portraying themselves as amusing, clever, and engaging populists. But none ever delves deeply into issues and none allows open vetting of their arguments. These rabble rousers say that they are entertainers, but they actually exploit a loophole that makes imbalanced political broadcasts legal. Hannity (also Rush, and Bill O’Reilly) claims that their programs are "entertainment", yet all of them express strong political opinions, clearly endorses candidates and aids them in on-air fundraising, even threatening listeners that calamity will befall those who does not vote their way.
Probably the worst of the worst example of this kind of craziness run amok is Limbaugh’s wish that our president fail. Who says that about their president? Only a traitor. Isn’t that just a little bit disloyal? What would Limbaugh and his ilk have said if Frank Rich or Maureen Dowd wrote that they wanted Bush to fail. But of course, they wouldn’t – FR and MD have way too much class. Ironically Limbaugh, Hannity, O’Reilly and the other nitwits on cable TV spout rhetoric that is clearly disloyal, if not seditious, while claiming to be lovers and defenders of the USA.
Ideological division is nothing new to politics. But has ideology ever taken quite the seat of prominence it now enjoys? Have people ever been quite so prone to regard their ideological identity as more important than their national identity? The last 30 years are rare in that regard, if not unique. But before the rise of the FoxNews and CNBCs, there was some measure of reasoned discourse – a back and forth exchange of ideas. Listen to these guys – when an alternative view is expressed their strategy is to: outshout, change the subject, ridicule or otherwise dismiss the point to be disputed rather than to address it. This is dangerous and alarming. THESE are the tactics of the Soviets and the Nazis of Hitler’s Germany; or those of a dictator who is ALWAYS right. They are not the tactics of those who would engage in a democratic , respectful, free, and intelligent exchange of ideas (remember that which our Revolution was fought over?)
At the same time that we desperately need to instill more critical thinking and creative problem-solving then ever before in our population that is raised on reality shows, sports, and the propaganda of FoxNews and CNBC, these three are cowardly propagandist who refuse to step up and confront the many voices that challenge their most controversial and fundamental philosophies.
Probably the worst of the worst example of this kind of craziness run amok is Limbaugh’s wish that our president fail. Who says that about their president? Only a traitor. Isn’t that just a little bit disloyal? What would Limbaugh and his ilk have said if Frank Rich or Maureen Dowd wrote that they wanted Bush to fail. But of course, they wouldn’t – FR and MD have way too much class. Ironically Limbaugh, Hannity, O’Reilly and the other nitwits on cable TV spout rhetoric that is clearly disloyal, if not seditious, while claiming to be lovers and defenders of the USA.
Ideological division is nothing new to politics. But has ideology ever taken quite the seat of prominence it now enjoys? Have people ever been quite so prone to regard their ideological identity as more important than their national identity? The last 30 years are rare in that regard, if not unique. But before the rise of the FoxNews and CNBCs, there was some measure of reasoned discourse – a back and forth exchange of ideas. Listen to these guys – when an alternative view is expressed their strategy is to: outshout, change the subject, ridicule or otherwise dismiss the point to be disputed rather than to address it. This is dangerous and alarming. THESE are the tactics of the Soviets and the Nazis of Hitler’s Germany; or those of a dictator who is ALWAYS right. They are not the tactics of those who would engage in a democratic , respectful, free, and intelligent exchange of ideas (remember that which our Revolution was fought over?)
At the same time that we desperately need to instill more critical thinking and creative problem-solving then ever before in our population that is raised on reality shows, sports, and the propaganda of FoxNews and CNBC, these three are cowardly propagandist who refuse to step up and confront the many voices that challenge their most controversial and fundamental philosophies.
Friday, April 3, 2009
trip to Nashville
We just got back from Nashville. Had to present two seminars. What a great trip. In one sense it was a hoot -- what can you say when a singers boobs don't move? This is sexy??? In another sense I have a new appreciation for country music. Going to the Country Music Hall of Fame was really interesting -- the evolution of the sound that we hear now from its humble twangy days -- was very enlightening. The Grand Ole Opry was much more enjoyable than I thought it would be. Brian and I had a great time. Picked up 3 silly little T shirts for the grandkids that say "Grand Ole Opry." Corny -- but that's what grandparents are for.
On our last night there we returned from dinner to find a body in prone position lying in front of our hotel door. Hmmm. So we turn it over to make sure it's alive. It was. We called security, which was particularly useless, but when the paramedics came they seemed competent enough. The last we heard the management said the man was not a guest of the hotel. He had wandered into the hotel thinking it was his and passed out. Why in front of MY room. I just wanted to go to bed, not nurse someone. Another trip, another adventure.
We went to a wonderful sports bar -- yes sports bar that was reputed to have the best ribs in town. The guys in back of us were really hammered -- celebrating one's divorce. I chatted briefly to him about the barbeque selections and when we left we found that he had paid for our dinner. Imagine. Wonder what he's gonna think when he sobers up and gets his Visa bill?
Another couple -- people are very friendly in Nashville -- got to chatting us up and asked what we were doing there. So I said that we couldn't get this kind of barbeque at home and that we were from up north. His reply was: "No kidding! You guys stick out like a sore thumb in here." Ok, so we had our prep clothes on -- but they were preppy jeans! Seriously they were a very funny and sweet couple.
The only sort of down thing was that I was shocked -- SHOCKED -- at how little my audience knew about seclusion and restraints and the Joint Commission and federal regs. What the hell are they doing in practice land? What the hell are they doing in nursing schools? Out of an audience of 200+ perhaps 10 knew that people could die proximal to restraint use, 2 had heard of the Hartford Courant series, and the majority did not know that when one puts hands on a patient it is a restraint.
There is something seriously wrong here. I thought that I had made an impact on this field and now this? Oh my back to the drawing board.
More later.
On our last night there we returned from dinner to find a body in prone position lying in front of our hotel door. Hmmm. So we turn it over to make sure it's alive. It was. We called security, which was particularly useless, but when the paramedics came they seemed competent enough. The last we heard the management said the man was not a guest of the hotel. He had wandered into the hotel thinking it was his and passed out. Why in front of MY room. I just wanted to go to bed, not nurse someone. Another trip, another adventure.
We went to a wonderful sports bar -- yes sports bar that was reputed to have the best ribs in town. The guys in back of us were really hammered -- celebrating one's divorce. I chatted briefly to him about the barbeque selections and when we left we found that he had paid for our dinner. Imagine. Wonder what he's gonna think when he sobers up and gets his Visa bill?
Another couple -- people are very friendly in Nashville -- got to chatting us up and asked what we were doing there. So I said that we couldn't get this kind of barbeque at home and that we were from up north. His reply was: "No kidding! You guys stick out like a sore thumb in here." Ok, so we had our prep clothes on -- but they were preppy jeans! Seriously they were a very funny and sweet couple.
The only sort of down thing was that I was shocked -- SHOCKED -- at how little my audience knew about seclusion and restraints and the Joint Commission and federal regs. What the hell are they doing in practice land? What the hell are they doing in nursing schools? Out of an audience of 200+ perhaps 10 knew that people could die proximal to restraint use, 2 had heard of the Hartford Courant series, and the majority did not know that when one puts hands on a patient it is a restraint.
There is something seriously wrong here. I thought that I had made an impact on this field and now this? Oh my back to the drawing board.
More later.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Florida
Many of my friends are fortunate to have been very successful in their lives. They have second homes, most of which seem to be in Florida. These folks go back and forth between north and south and every year we have to deal with invitations to come and see them in their winter homes. While this is an expression of kindness and hospitality and I am glad that folks want to have us visit, it puzzles me that logical explanations of why we are not coming to Florida. That winter or ever – well ever might be too long. It seems logical to me though:
1) I can see these folks in PA (one of them lives across the pond) or NJ anytime I want when they return from FL
2) I don’t have to schlep on an airplane, pay for a flight, pay for parking at the airport, pay for boarding my animals when I can see them in PA or NJ for free.
3) I have a job that sort of requires that I do some work in order to get paid.
4) If I take off time from work to go on vacation, FL is not my choice of where to go. I like to travel, but interstate travel with condos and strip malls on either side of me while driving does not trump overseas travel.
5) When I don’t go traveling overseas, I happen to like where I live. A lot. I spent a whole lot of years living in PUKE! Midland, Texas where I fit in about as much as a palm tree in Maine and I am exceedingly happy to be back on the East coast. I have friends here. I have season tickets to stuff. I can be in Philly in 50 minutes, New York City in 75 minutes and Washington in 2 hours by train. And I want to go to FL why? Warm? It’s damn hot here in July and August for when I need a heat fix --- AND I happen to like winter.
1) I can see these folks in PA (one of them lives across the pond) or NJ anytime I want when they return from FL
2) I don’t have to schlep on an airplane, pay for a flight, pay for parking at the airport, pay for boarding my animals when I can see them in PA or NJ for free.
3) I have a job that sort of requires that I do some work in order to get paid.
4) If I take off time from work to go on vacation, FL is not my choice of where to go. I like to travel, but interstate travel with condos and strip malls on either side of me while driving does not trump overseas travel.
5) When I don’t go traveling overseas, I happen to like where I live. A lot. I spent a whole lot of years living in PUKE! Midland, Texas where I fit in about as much as a palm tree in Maine and I am exceedingly happy to be back on the East coast. I have friends here. I have season tickets to stuff. I can be in Philly in 50 minutes, New York City in 75 minutes and Washington in 2 hours by train. And I want to go to FL why? Warm? It’s damn hot here in July and August for when I need a heat fix --- AND I happen to like winter.
Motor mouths
Not that I am not annoying in some ways, which I readily acknowledge AND better yet that I am aware of and in control of much of the time. I know when I am being annoying and I can stop and start because I have that self-awareness. Sometimes I use my annoying-ness deliberately. But the issue is that self-awareness is there.
That kind of awareness seems to allude others. For example, there are a number of people whose friendship I value, but they have qualities that make being with them a mixed bag. Sort of a push-pull or approach-avoidance situation. These are speed-talkers with whom it’s hard to get in a word in when trying to have a conversation. There are times I feel like yelling, "Will you please JUST SHUT UP!"Example: One friend will give me every single little detail on the most mundane things or will tell me things that I already know how to do, or will tell me in excruciating detail about subjects I don’t care about, or about people I don’t know and will never meet. For instance, s/he can't just say there was a rude customer in front of her/him at the grocery store. S/he'll tell you just about everything that led up to her/him being in the grocery store-the time s/he woke up this morning, how s/he couldn't find her shoes, etc. Twenty minutes later s/he'll finally get to the story about the rude customer.Another example: Another friend. S/he talks and talks and talks and talks....You get the point. You can't break in to give your opinion or what/not because s/he's already on another topic. S/he'll call me up and starts talking about her/his problems right away with barely (if at all!) asking me how I am doing. Thirty minutes to an hour later, after my eyes have long glazed over, s/he’ll ask a question and because I’ve dissociated I have no idea how to answer.
Another example: Friend who is almost a narcissist. Everything is about him/her and how s/he is and what s/he has done – never bothers to ask what I have done. Talks about him/herself way too much and again, will have to give me every single little detail about everything. If I try to get a word in edgewise this person simply increases the decibel of speech or keeps going on and on and on right over what I have tried to say.
Worse yet, no amount of re-direction, changing the subject, or bluntly saying that I don’t care about John and his divorce and how much alimony he is paying and that his divorce is because he decided he was gay etc. etc. makes a whit of difference. And body language?? Forget about it. They are too busy blathering to even pick up on body language. I love these people but damn do they get annoying! All I feel that I ever say is "Yeah, uh-huh, ok" etc. I mean occasionally I get a few words in but only when I am rude. And then I get interrupted. There have been times I can put down the phone with these friends and go get a drink of water or go to the bathroom AND THEY ARE STILL TALKING!!!These friends will never asked about me, and I never get much of a chance to talk about myself. What I have with them is not a CONVERSATION, it is being TALKED AT. Sadly, these chat-aholics, not only don’t have any self-awareness, but because of their lack of response to cues and lack of self awareness tend to drive others away from them. A chatty person, more than likely always was & always will be because they need an audience to unload on. Maybe they're not capable of shared conversation, maybe they don't care. We can't expect them to include us, stop & take a breath & let us join in or spend any time asking about us if past experiences have shown this isn't the case. To think otherwise is folly. So I have to suck it up or lose friends. But, wow, do I feel depleted after I am with them.
That kind of awareness seems to allude others. For example, there are a number of people whose friendship I value, but they have qualities that make being with them a mixed bag. Sort of a push-pull or approach-avoidance situation. These are speed-talkers with whom it’s hard to get in a word in when trying to have a conversation. There are times I feel like yelling, "Will you please JUST SHUT UP!"Example: One friend will give me every single little detail on the most mundane things or will tell me things that I already know how to do, or will tell me in excruciating detail about subjects I don’t care about, or about people I don’t know and will never meet. For instance, s/he can't just say there was a rude customer in front of her/him at the grocery store. S/he'll tell you just about everything that led up to her/him being in the grocery store-the time s/he woke up this morning, how s/he couldn't find her shoes, etc. Twenty minutes later s/he'll finally get to the story about the rude customer.Another example: Another friend. S/he talks and talks and talks and talks....You get the point. You can't break in to give your opinion or what/not because s/he's already on another topic. S/he'll call me up and starts talking about her/his problems right away with barely (if at all!) asking me how I am doing. Thirty minutes to an hour later, after my eyes have long glazed over, s/he’ll ask a question and because I’ve dissociated I have no idea how to answer.
Another example: Friend who is almost a narcissist. Everything is about him/her and how s/he is and what s/he has done – never bothers to ask what I have done. Talks about him/herself way too much and again, will have to give me every single little detail about everything. If I try to get a word in edgewise this person simply increases the decibel of speech or keeps going on and on and on right over what I have tried to say.
Worse yet, no amount of re-direction, changing the subject, or bluntly saying that I don’t care about John and his divorce and how much alimony he is paying and that his divorce is because he decided he was gay etc. etc. makes a whit of difference. And body language?? Forget about it. They are too busy blathering to even pick up on body language. I love these people but damn do they get annoying! All I feel that I ever say is "Yeah, uh-huh, ok" etc. I mean occasionally I get a few words in but only when I am rude. And then I get interrupted. There have been times I can put down the phone with these friends and go get a drink of water or go to the bathroom AND THEY ARE STILL TALKING!!!These friends will never asked about me, and I never get much of a chance to talk about myself. What I have with them is not a CONVERSATION, it is being TALKED AT. Sadly, these chat-aholics, not only don’t have any self-awareness, but because of their lack of response to cues and lack of self awareness tend to drive others away from them. A chatty person, more than likely always was & always will be because they need an audience to unload on. Maybe they're not capable of shared conversation, maybe they don't care. We can't expect them to include us, stop & take a breath & let us join in or spend any time asking about us if past experiences have shown this isn't the case. To think otherwise is folly. So I have to suck it up or lose friends. But, wow, do I feel depleted after I am with them.
Monday, February 23, 2009
After getting my toes wet in the facebook world, I have rapidly retreated into my privacy, if not obscurity. No more Facebook for me. Facebook is a crashing bore – for the most part. While my kids have found their college and prep school friends – worthy goals. Others seem on there to blather any piece of inanity that pops into their mind. Whether anyone besides them cares or not.
Facebook defines itself as ‘a social utility that connects you with the people around you’. This could not be further from the truth. Far from serving as an umbilical cord of friendship for the socially deprived, Facebook actively damages interpersonal relationships, harms job prospects, wastes precious time, and ultimately turns die-hard users totally reclusive. It is an extension of a dreary everyday reality for people who are hobby-less, uninterested in improving their minds, less than uninterested in becoming involved with a worthy cause and with too much time on their hands. It leads your girlfriend to ask questions about your photos, your friends to ask questions about your girlfriend, and her friends to ask her questions about your friends. You don’t need this headache, nobody does. Facebook complicates our lives.
Yet prurient voyeurism and wanton exhibitionism keeps keep some people hooked, and so, day by day, they log on, hungry for more low-grade banter and silly antics. It is difficult to believe such a squalid distraction was valued at $15bn as implied by the price paid by Microsoft to acquire a 1.6 per cent stake last October – easily enough to buy each of Facebook’s members some real friends.
Facebook is a goldmine of tosh – a monument to mediocrity. Once the preserve of institutions of higher learning, Facebook now caters to the untutored masses – anyone with time on their hands and a keyboard beneath them. Not to overlook the advent of Facebook for Blackberry – further broadening the scope of Facebook’s perversion of business equipment from desktop to handheld, enabling Sharon to update her status every five minutes while ‘on the go’. Sharon is eating. Sharon is at home. Sharon is tired. Sharon is on her way to the mall. Who the hell cares? Get a life Sharon. Get a life to the person who actually cares about what Sharon is doing from minute to minute.
Are lives so empty that they need to be filled with this drivel? Are people that desperate?
Sadly the addiction runs wide and deep. Mind-numbing status updates and staged photo albums are just the beginning: uploading photos of your sister’s newborn baby for thousands of people to see is overly personal (and how has the infant consented to this?) and changing your profile picture every five minutes does not change people’s perception that in real life you are irritating and uninteresting.
If you have funds to spare and do not consider world hunger or global warming worthy causes, you can purchase ‘Gifts’ for your friends on Facebook. Of course these are not real gifts, but rather icons of a cow’s head, or a pork chop. Happy birthday – here’s a pile of sick from Anonymous. How thoughtful. I’m trying to think of another word but it seems to elude me.What happened to putting pen to paper to elegantly articulate one’s feelings towards someone one cared about? Or to the intrigue of getting to know a person’s common interests as part of a gradual process? Or to the concept of delivering a personal invitation by word of mouth or script, rather than a mail-merge? It would appear that such niceties have been relinquished along with other staples of old-world charm – the Facebook Revolution signals a whole new era of meaningless interaction.
Facebook defines itself as ‘a social utility that connects you with the people around you’. This could not be further from the truth. Far from serving as an umbilical cord of friendship for the socially deprived, Facebook actively damages interpersonal relationships, harms job prospects, wastes precious time, and ultimately turns die-hard users totally reclusive. It is an extension of a dreary everyday reality for people who are hobby-less, uninterested in improving their minds, less than uninterested in becoming involved with a worthy cause and with too much time on their hands. It leads your girlfriend to ask questions about your photos, your friends to ask questions about your girlfriend, and her friends to ask her questions about your friends. You don’t need this headache, nobody does. Facebook complicates our lives.
Yet prurient voyeurism and wanton exhibitionism keeps keep some people hooked, and so, day by day, they log on, hungry for more low-grade banter and silly antics. It is difficult to believe such a squalid distraction was valued at $15bn as implied by the price paid by Microsoft to acquire a 1.6 per cent stake last October – easily enough to buy each of Facebook’s members some real friends.
Facebook is a goldmine of tosh – a monument to mediocrity. Once the preserve of institutions of higher learning, Facebook now caters to the untutored masses – anyone with time on their hands and a keyboard beneath them. Not to overlook the advent of Facebook for Blackberry – further broadening the scope of Facebook’s perversion of business equipment from desktop to handheld, enabling Sharon to update her status every five minutes while ‘on the go’. Sharon is eating. Sharon is at home. Sharon is tired. Sharon is on her way to the mall. Who the hell cares? Get a life Sharon. Get a life to the person who actually cares about what Sharon is doing from minute to minute.
Are lives so empty that they need to be filled with this drivel? Are people that desperate?
Sadly the addiction runs wide and deep. Mind-numbing status updates and staged photo albums are just the beginning: uploading photos of your sister’s newborn baby for thousands of people to see is overly personal (and how has the infant consented to this?) and changing your profile picture every five minutes does not change people’s perception that in real life you are irritating and uninteresting.
If you have funds to spare and do not consider world hunger or global warming worthy causes, you can purchase ‘Gifts’ for your friends on Facebook. Of course these are not real gifts, but rather icons of a cow’s head, or a pork chop. Happy birthday – here’s a pile of sick from Anonymous. How thoughtful. I’m trying to think of another word but it seems to elude me.What happened to putting pen to paper to elegantly articulate one’s feelings towards someone one cared about? Or to the intrigue of getting to know a person’s common interests as part of a gradual process? Or to the concept of delivering a personal invitation by word of mouth or script, rather than a mail-merge? It would appear that such niceties have been relinquished along with other staples of old-world charm – the Facebook Revolution signals a whole new era of meaningless interaction.
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