Is it funny?

Humor is a funny thing (pun intended). What might tickle you does nothing for me and vice versa. It’s extremely culturally sensitive and assumes both sender and receiver share similar values which enable both to “get it.” We connect with certain types of humor based on our upbringing, education, life experiences, and even social status. Humor is powerful. There are few things in life more intoxicating than being able to make people laugh. But it can also be dangerous.
Humor can be extremely volatile, especially when it goes beyond mere word play or wit. We’ve all heard or perhaps even shared, on occasion, jokes at the expense of others. I would be lying if I did not admit these jokes are sometimes quite funny. But where do we draw the line between a funny observation and something patently offensive? And shouldn’t I be mature enough to know when I might be potentially crossing that line?
Recently, two political cartoons came under fire for their allusions to the president and black stereotypes. One of the cartoons, which appeared in the February 18, 2009 edition of the NY Post, shows a chimpanzee shot dead by two police officers with the caption reading, “They’ll have to find someone else to write the next stimulus bill.”
A second carton, distributed a few days later, shows a picture of the White House, but instead of the lawn being covered in grass, it’s covered by a watermelon patch – the joke being there’ll be no Easter egg hunt this year, now that a black family occupies 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.
In both cases, the author/sender of the cartoon defends their actions by claiming a level of ignorance or in the case of the Post, that it was merely parodying a recent news event. But is either of those excuses legitimate? While it might be true the Post cartoon followed a recent incident where police shot to death a chimp after it attacked its owner’s best friend, it’s hard to believe the creator of the cartoon or the editor who published it was not aware of how black people were often portrayed as monkeys and how this political cartoon could be construed as a jab at the president. While the president should not be immune to criticism, the editor at the Post should not have been surprised at the vehement reaction.
The second cartoon is a little more problematic. As I explained earlier, it shows a White House lawn covered in a watermelon patch. The mayor of the Southern California suburb of Los Alamitos thought it was funny and decided to pass it on. Unfortunately for him, one of the recipients was black, wasn't so forgiving, and didn’t see the humor and saw the racial stereotype embedded within the joke. I will be honest with you, despite the fact it reached for the lowest common denominator, I thought it was mildly humorous, though offensive. But I am not black. Though he ultimately resigned, my problem is how the mayor, Dean Grose, had no idea how it could be perceived as racist. Is he that ignorant of history? And if he really didn’t know the stereotype of blacks and watermelons, what was so funny? I find it difficult to believe he would have found the humor in the cartoon had it shown a strawberry patch instead.
If I’m smart enough to know that some people might see it as funny, I should be smart enough to know the reasons why some people may find it painful and offensive. Isn’t it funny we all can’t see it that way?
In a great post on the Chronicle of Higher Ed, Gina Barreca asks how women deal with sexual harassment or sexism dressed up as a joke. I love this conundrum, because it is SO common. Who hasn't heard some appallingly sexist (or racist, or homophobic) comment explained away with a "just kidding" or a laugh or a comment about not having a sense of humor?
For example, after Liz Carpenter worked for the Johnson administration she wrote a book about her experiences working at the White House. The book was out for a while, did pretty well. One evening she met Arthur Schlesinger at a cocktail party. He came over to her and smiled and said "Like your book Liz. Who wrote it for you?"
Now, clearly dear Arthur meant this as his little joke. If she had stammered and blushed, he would win the point. He could then say, "see, you just can't joke around with these women." If she'd pounded her fist on the table and threatened to call a lawyer, he could say the same thing.
Instead what Carpenter did was to say in response, "Glad you liked it, Arthur. Who read it to you?"
I wish I was that quick! Was that a cool rejoinder or WHAT?!

Facebook

Though Facebook’s mission is “giving people the power to share and make the world more open and connected,” the underlying power of Facebook is its ability to disconnect people. Some people are giving up opportunities to hang out with real people in order to distract themselves by staying connected through Facebook. Facebook is like TV. If you stand outside someone’s home and watch the light coming out, you’ll notice that it flickers. TV flickers to make us constantly look at it. Facebook is the same way in that you can constantly check status updates right as they pop up. And you can play games without the benefit of human contact for days. I find it worrisome and wonder if what I am seeing in terms of my students’ increasingly crude, rude, and disrespectful behaviors are not a part of this kind of disconnection from the self correction that comes with having to interact civilly with others.

I like Facebook for having connected me to some nice folks from my past. But I don’t understand the need to know what someone is eating for breakfast via his or her Facebook status or Twitter update. People are creating substance out of nothing – simulacra in Baudrillard’s parlance (as much as I am not a fan of postmodernism).

With Twitter, Facebook, Second Life, video games and e-mail, our life is saturated by virtual friendships at the expense of real relationships, although there are times when I prefer emailing some folks to talking with them on the phone.

Author and educator, Michael Bugeja has been heavily involved in researching and studying how people have fallen into an “interpersonal divide,” which is “the void that develops when we spend too much time in virtual rather than real communities, neglecting our primary relationships and with that, our sense of self,” according to Bugeja’s Web site, www.interpersonal-divide.org.

YAY retirement upon me!

I am having more fun planning retirement. My last month at UMDNJ will be May 1, 2011. No more faculty meetings; no more rude and disrespectful students who don't want to work and who think nothing of cheating. I guess I have to ammend that last about students in that the ones in my track (child) are the cream of the crop and I have enjoyed them. But in general -- nursing sure isn't what it used to be.
Meanwhile there is a whole world out there to actually enjoy. We already have a month trip to Poland planned for May of 2011. My family will be having a reunion in Sandomierz and it looks as though the Goldfines and the Thornburgs will be coming along as well. Hope that in laws can baby sit.
We have joined a book and wine club, a wine and dine club, an empty nesters group, and a movie and dinner club and we've bought the family membership at the Phila museum of Art and have started going to lectures already. Then there is the symphony, the opera, the Broadway series, ANG, EGA, and Polish reading and writing classes. Holy moly we may be busier in full retirement mode. Life is gonna be good and hopefully we can keep the neurons firing well and keep growing in our "golden" years. It's never too late to grow and learn and have fun.

Some never outgrow it

Well, I've been slowly trying to re-connect with folks from South River with the idea that we might have a re-union in 3 years. It's hard to believe that 50 years will be coming up. One would think that by this time all the grudges, nastiness, backbiting, and other high school adolescent behavior would be a thing of the past. Being in psychiatry means that I subscribe to the idea that people develop, mature, and grow and that they are capable of change. Being a realist, I know that is not always the case.
I had an interesting experience with this social networking. Apparently someone from high school looked me up through the university, and sent me an email to my professional email address. I paste it here: "Hey aren't you the Wanda Troyanowski from SR with the crazy parents and big time problems? How's it hangin?" The email address gives no clue as to this cowardly person's identity and frankly I do not care who it is. Talk about someone with big time problems.
Yes, I am the Wanda nee Troyanowski from SR who had "crazy" parents. My mother was bipolar, my father drank and had a big time personality disorder and it was an abusive family. My brother was not the epitome of mental health and I had a pretty grim time of it. Friends were almost non existent because I didn't want to bring anyone home. Odds should have been that my life should have ended as bitterly as theirs -- or as obviously disturbed as my email friend "angelover" who sent me that snarky email.
But -- I got over it and got out of there and was successful beyond anyone's including my own expectations. Seems that some people simply don't have the capacity to turn it around. Angelover, you only wish that you were as blessed as I am. I hope you find some measure of peace with yourself.

December 2009
Another year has passed and it dawned on us that it has been nearly 15 years since we moved back to the east coast. Time really does fly when you’re having fun!
This year has been busier than ever. We managed 6 different countries this year: Austria, Czech Republic, Denmark, Sweden, Italy, and Switzerland. The Czech Republic and Sweden were our favorites. Beautiful, clean, and well governed countries, great food and affable people. We decided that had we not had grandbabies and children here, we’d move to Sweden in a heartbeat.
Wanda was on sabbatical during which we traveled, and she presented nationally and internationally. She is working on a new book with Dr. Allan Tasman geared to medical students and psychiatric trainees, and is on the 8th edition of her own text. The sabbatical will be over with the start of the spring semester, but she won’t be back teaching for much longer as she has decided to retire and become Professor Emeritus in Spring of 2011. Yay! No more faculty meetings. More time with grandbabies. Double Yay!
Brian is doing his investment advisement and is thankful that we have lost no large amounts of money during this terrible downturn. Ever the optimist, he took the recession as a time of opportunity and bought opportunities like crazy. He is enjoying life, enjoying his home, which is a never ending money pit, is fighting with the Canada geese and the deer that have a penchant to be horribly dirty and destructive. He is looking forward to his 50th high school reunion in 2 years and has connected with several friends who he had lost touch with. He is healthy except for the usual aches and pains that we all have at this age. Aging surely is not for the faint hearted.
We have always lived busy and full lives, reading much, museum trolling, traveling, and squeezing in hobbies as well as good works on behalf of others. But, there is nothing to compare with the advent of all these grandbabies to make life complete. They are such a joy. Every new development is a wonder. With three toddlers of the same age, it has become very interesting, but has underscored the limits of our physical endurance. Just when we thought that we were in great shape for our age, a few days with Sophie, Jacqueline, or Alina, is enough to bring us back to reality and realize why the natural order of things is to have young people bear the babies.
It would come as a surprise to no one that Shannon and Tara are both fabulous mothers and we just can’t say enough about Jon and Mike. They were born to be dads and the baby girls are wild for their fathers.
Despite the nuisance of the Philadelphia political situation, graft, corruption, and patronage that we try to ignore, we love living here. It has to be the perfect geographical spot for people who love music, shows, and museums and within driving distance to Washington DC and New York should we run out of activities here. The only downside is not having Shannon, Jon and the twins closer.
We hope this letter finds all of you fit and happy. Here’s looking forward to another wonderful year! And I have decided to post my blogs on facebook. Hoping to reconnect with folks who neither of us have seen for a while.
Wanda and Brian

The dangerous right

Propaganda. To hear the defamers of conservativism yammer about it, propaganda is what other people – especially socialists do. Never mind that these same pseudo conservatives manage to conflate totalitarianism, socialism, and communism (oh, I forgot liberalism) into the same boogey man. But what would domestic propaganda look and sound like in America? My two three votes go to the dangerous drivel spouted by the pseudo-patriots Sean Hannity, O'Reilly and Rush Limbaugh. These multimillionaires excel at portraying themselves as amusing, clever, and engaging populists. But none ever delves deeply into issues and none allows open vetting of their arguments. These rabble rousers say that they are entertainers, but they actually exploit a loophole that makes imbalanced political broadcasts legal. Hannity (also Rush, and Bill O’Reilly) claims that their programs are "entertainment", yet all of them express strong political opinions, clearly endorses candidates and aids them in on-air fundraising, even threatening listeners that calamity will befall those who does not vote their way.
Probably the worst of the worst example of this kind of craziness run amok is Limbaugh’s wish that our president fail. Who says that about their president? Only a traitor. Isn’t that just a little bit disloyal? What would Limbaugh and his ilk have said if Frank Rich or Maureen Dowd wrote that they wanted Bush to fail. But of course, they wouldn’t – FR and MD have way too much class. Ironically Limbaugh, Hannity, O’Reilly and the other nitwits on cable TV spout rhetoric that is clearly disloyal, if not seditious, while claiming to be lovers and defenders of the USA.
Ideological division is nothing new to politics. But has ideology ever taken quite the seat of prominence it now enjoys? Have people ever been quite so prone to regard their ideological identity as more important than their national identity? The last 30 years are rare in that regard, if not unique. But before the rise of the FoxNews and CNBCs, there was some measure of reasoned discourse – a back and forth exchange of ideas. Listen to these guys – when an alternative view is expressed their strategy is to: outshout, change the subject, ridicule or otherwise dismiss the point to be disputed rather than to address it. This is dangerous and alarming. THESE are the tactics of the Soviets and the Nazis of Hitler’s Germany; or those of a dictator who is ALWAYS right. They are not the tactics of those who would engage in a democratic , respectful, free, and intelligent exchange of ideas (remember that which our Revolution was fought over?)
At the same time that we desperately need to instill more critical thinking and creative problem-solving then ever before in our population that is raised on reality shows, sports, and the propaganda of FoxNews and CNBC, these three are cowardly propagandist who refuse to step up and confront the many voices that challenge their most controversial and fundamental philosophies.

trip to Nashville

We just got back from Nashville. Had to present two seminars. What a great trip. In one sense it was a hoot -- what can you say when a singers boobs don't move? This is sexy??? In another sense I have a new appreciation for country music. Going to the Country Music Hall of Fame was really interesting -- the evolution of the sound that we hear now from its humble twangy days -- was very enlightening. The Grand Ole Opry was much more enjoyable than I thought it would be. Brian and I had a great time. Picked up 3 silly little T shirts for the grandkids that say "Grand Ole Opry." Corny -- but that's what grandparents are for.
On our last night there we returned from dinner to find a body in prone position lying in front of our hotel door. Hmmm. So we turn it over to make sure it's alive. It was. We called security, which was particularly useless, but when the paramedics came they seemed competent enough. The last we heard the management said the man was not a guest of the hotel. He had wandered into the hotel thinking it was his and passed out. Why in front of MY room. I just wanted to go to bed, not nurse someone. Another trip, another adventure.
We went to a wonderful sports bar -- yes sports bar that was reputed to have the best ribs in town. The guys in back of us were really hammered -- celebrating one's divorce. I chatted briefly to him about the barbeque selections and when we left we found that he had paid for our dinner. Imagine. Wonder what he's gonna think when he sobers up and gets his Visa bill?
Another couple -- people are very friendly in Nashville -- got to chatting us up and asked what we were doing there. So I said that we couldn't get this kind of barbeque at home and that we were from up north. His reply was: "No kidding! You guys stick out like a sore thumb in here." Ok, so we had our prep clothes on -- but they were preppy jeans! Seriously they were a very funny and sweet couple.
The only sort of down thing was that I was shocked -- SHOCKED -- at how little my audience knew about seclusion and restraints and the Joint Commission and federal regs. What the hell are they doing in practice land? What the hell are they doing in nursing schools? Out of an audience of 200+ perhaps 10 knew that people could die proximal to restraint use, 2 had heard of the Hartford Courant series, and the majority did not know that when one puts hands on a patient it is a restraint.
There is something seriously wrong here. I thought that I had made an impact on this field and now this? Oh my back to the drawing board.
More later.